Sunday, March 20, 2011

Frustration

I
I'm the best there is at what I do...
really
...and what I do is color-coordinate.
wish
Seems like the badasses really like big belt buckles.
people
He may have amnesia, but he always remembers clean underwear.
would
Underpants of Iron!
stop
If this were such a faux pas...
making
...wouldn't his fashionista wife have said something?
fun
True fact: Yellowjacket does not wear a yellow jacket. Jubilee, on the other hand...
of
Red, white, blue, and briefs.
Superman's
Fruit of the super-woven loom.
"underpants."
It could be worse. It could be boxers.
The
Is that a metal cummerbund?
joke
Cosmic Boy rocks (Rokks?) the tighty-whiteys.
is
Ultra Boy has many different styles of underwear, but he can only wear one at a time.
as
What...what's going on here?
tired
Sun Boy's crotch has a racing stripe. Between this and Garth's diaper, the 30th Century looks really kinky.
and
Leave it to Colossal Boy to have the largest belt buckle of all.
juvenile
Fashion matters.
as
He'd like to show you fashion, but he thinks he'll blow your minds.
"hurr
It's impressive how the stripes stay perfectly straight on his non-flat pelvis.
hurr,
Behold, the Girdle of Nabu!
Batman
Crusaderwear.
and
Wonder undies.
Robin
Dynamic drawers.
are
I'm tempted to make a 'longbow hunters' joke.
totally
Thunderwear.
gay"
In red or yellow...
and
...DD's a well-dressed fellow.
other
That's quite the disco belt.
inane
Even the ladies know the style.
clich├ęs.
I'm far too mature for a joke about old one-eye.
Can
Blue Beetle's boxer-briefs.
we
To me, my skivvies!
please
Granny's panties!
finally
UNDER-WEAR IS ANTI-LIFE!
put
Behold the 'TECHNO-ACTIVE' garment called the KIRBIKINI!
it
This man, these...UNMENTIONABLES!
to
The touch, the feel, of photons, the fabric of our lives.
rest?
Thus he comes, the wielder of the ASTRO-FORCE--ORION fights for FASHION!


Seriously, it's a component of costume design. It has been since before there were comic book superheroes. Steve Ditko used it, Jack Kirby used it, Dave Cockrum used it, Neal Adams used it, Jim Lee used it. In most cases, it's a way to break up the colors of the lower body; in some cases, it's just to add seams, apparently. What it emphatically is not is uncommon, or even necessarily a sign of bad costume design. Check out lists of the best costume designs, and you'll see some consistent entries: Blue Beetle, Green Arrow, Wolverine--all dressed in external underwear. Can we all please stop acting like Superman's red briefs are some terrible and unique crime of fashion?

I mean, Moon Knight wears white all year long. Seriously.

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